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Always wash your hands! will close at the end of October 2018. Thank you all. It has been a fun 14 years!

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'Big P*sser' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Side View, Jonny Machine' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Sink Area' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Burnt Seat!' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Bog Door!' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Nice Yellow Urinal Soaps' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Mould above left-hand cistern' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Mould above right-hand cistern' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'New Seat, Light and Bog Roll' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'Mould now cleaned up' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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'The Recurring Black Mould!' - photo from The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield
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The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield

The Swan With Two Necks
65 Chestergate
SK11 6DG
  Tel: 07793 373 698

Added: 2/1/2005
Modified: 1/9/2013 10:25:03 AM

Written By Hans Dryer

This pub used to be called The Amsterdam Bar, it is situated near the lights in the middle of Chestergate, on the corner of Little Street, by the former Kings Head.

it is quite a long pub, but with few windows. On entrance you will find a raised seating area to your left, along with a pool table area, sectioned of with bannisters etc.

to the bottom and right hand side is ground level seating, and the bar is contained in the far right of the pub. Quite a long bar, with drip trays.

On tap is Fosters, and the bitter is John Smiths. The other usual offerings are available, bottles, spirits etc. Pork Crackling is available, as are flaming hot Peperami's.

A pint of John Smiths Extra Smooth Bitter will set you back a very reasonable 1.75, not bad at all, and beleive you me, its a good pint in here too.

Relax and take in the esquisite wall decor, many old bits of memorabilia dill the walls. A nice set of press letter stamps, newspaper cuttings and brass wares!

As well as pool, there is a fruit machine for electronic entertainment, go on, drop the f*cker!

The bogs are at the rear of the pub in their own little corridor.

Here you will find three wooden doors with glass windows, ladies, gents, and one marked private.... lets take a look in the gents....

The first thing you will notice is a general smell of cleanliness.

There is a long p*ss stone on the wall by the back windows, it could probably fit 10 men in easily! a few p*ss soaps and signs of disinfectant, hence the pleasant smell.

The floor is coloured black, and the walls are plain coloured.

Opposite the p*sser, at one end is the sink, there is soap, a towel dispenser and a hand dryer! both taps had good action.

at the other end of the urinal is the condom machine, an advert board, and a radiator. Durex nodders are 2 a pack, 2 varieties. The cistern for the stones is also down here.

behind a wall where the sink area is lies the sh*tter.

Plain white, white seat and cistern. There is a strange brown stain on the inside seat, looks like a burn!

The room is tiled with white tiles, there is a bog roll on a metal holder, and a spare on the cistern.

Theres a bog brush next to the bog too.

Overall these bogs are good, i particualrly enjoyed the lond p*sser, and cleanliness of the place overall, nice pub too.


Update - June 2008:

It's about time we updated the listing for "The Swan", especially as we're here nigh on every week.

The pub is now run by Andy and Wendy, and is a live music pub.

The central stage area of the pub is now fully open plan (with the banisters removed) to allow full view of the stage area by all those in the pub.

The bar puts on live bands most Fridays and Saturdays, and entrance is free!

On the bar on tap are Fosters, Millers, Guinness, John Smiths, Theakstons, Strongbow, and Bulmers Cider, quite an unusual find on-tap.

There is also an excellent selection of Corky's flavoured Vodka shots, and Jagermeister!

You can also get hot dogs at night, along with crisps, and proper food during the day.

The pub is very popular, and you'll usually encounter a warm atmosphere.

There is also now a dedicated smoking area out the back, past the bogs. They even provide "gone for a fag" beer mats to protect your pint whilst you're out for a smoke!

Oh yes... the bogs...

The gents have been suffering for a while with Silimy Orange Fungus, growing all over the pipes on the p*ss-stone.

Although it has cleared up somewhat recently, it has been replaced by black mold above the twin p*sser cisterns. (see photos)

Andy the Landlord insists that it is the water in Macclesfield that causes this, however, aparat from the George and Dragon on Sunderland Street, we've not come accross the "orange sh*t" before.

The p*sser is good though, it could house upto 10 men, at a push. There are usually some small yellow p*ss stones in it too, see photo.

Having a crap at The Swan has also been an experience best avoided in recent years, the cubicle has lacked a light, a lock, and usually bog roll too.

However, on a recent visit, the bog seat is new (a light brown one), there is light, a lock and bum roll, excellent!

The bogs also benefit from the late summer sunlight!

Get down The Swan With 2 Necks (also known as The Swan With 2 Dicks), support local music, and check out the great bogs!



March 2009 - The mould above the urinal cisterns has now been cleaned off, and painted over.

Ideally, they need to put a vent in the window here, to let a bit of fresh air in, and hopefully stop the mould returning!


Update - October 2009:

Oh dear! The black mould in the Gents is back, especially above the left hand cistern, above the urinal stones.

This needs sorting, perhaps a vent on the window would help keep the mould at bay?

There are currently 6 comments about The Swan With Two Necks, Macclesfield

#1: Comment left by Andy of Macclesfield

“yep that mould on the ceiling is pretty worrying”

Date: 7/1/2008 12:01:18 PM

#2: Comment left by Wendy Smith (Landlady) of The Swan With Two Necks

“We did have a problem with the mould above the cistern but this has since been rectified!!!

We pride our selves on cleanliness so please come and give The Swan a try, once you've been here you'll want to keep coming back.”

Date: 9/17/2008 11:36:40 AM

#3: Comment left by Rick of Macclesfield

“The hours clocked up in there mean they have to be good. They are, and very fresh smelling! Plus you can still hear the music, fantastic!”

Date: 9/22/2008 1:55:29 PM

#4: Comment left by Johnny Marr of Macclesfield

“I was visiting the Macclefield area when I was back in the UK to see a friend and drop a guitar off for him.

I popped in The Swan one afternoon to have a quick drink and I also noticed the mould in the toilets.

Nice pub!”

Date: 10/5/2008 6:26:11 PM

#5: Comment left by Diesel D of Droylsden

“There's not many pubs you can be sick in the toilets after midnight without finding yourself kneeling in other peoples bodily waste!

The Swan manages to pass this vital test though, and all credit must go to the locals for keeping their toilets in such fine condition even after sinking several Macc Red Pints. The soap smells good too.

As for the rest of the pub. The beer is superb. The staff are friendly and the atmosphere is generally excellent.”

Date: 1/13/2009 12:21:18 AM

#6: Comment left by Peace of Walsall

“Great to see such care and attention being devoted to what is a vital part of the night out experience. As one of The Swan With Two Necks' past and future performing artists I have to subscribe to the positive comments made about the pub. Its a pleasure to be in such company and surroundings and the owners' love for live music is to be celebrated. Our band (The Illuminations) are looking forward to returning.”

Date: 12/22/2012 3:21:34 PM

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